Power Salad "force doesn't work on a crustacean"
Reviewed April 25, 2000  by Eric Houg

Score: 90  100 means excellent.  Scores range from 0 to infinity, infinity being best.

A real (mass produced) CD with professional recording quality.  This album is produced and peddled by Chris Mezzolesta who is frequently seen in the newsgroup rec.music.dementia and lives at  http://www.powersalad.com . I assume from listening t this album that Chris has considerable education and or experience in music making.  Some great Mezzolesta related tunes are not on this album: "Alcon 2000 Theme",  "My Name Is Fudd", and "Mayberry Beret" (under the name Zot Theater)  That is to avoid any legal hassles related to parody songs.  There are no parody songs on this album.  Before I listened to the CD, I thought I was going to flunk it because of all the missing stuff.  But no.  Good tunes.  The band name and album name are weak though, but you knew that.

The songs in order from approximately best to approximately worst.
     Best
track
number
12.  killer résumé  03:37
07.  points (they might be sportscenter)  03:24
15.  kiwana wanna-be  04:02
02.  your city here  03:55
05.  italian food  02:02
06.  oh oh olean  04:10
18.  theme from ralph-man  03:21
04.  the saga of the all american mall family  03:30
19. co-dependency  2:02
13.  finish this song  03:13
11.  you're a kinkajou  04:28
09.  katie's dream  05:39
10.  the chemical engineering song  02:47
17.  panic broadcast  01:56
08.  lady of the house  02:38
03.  with sparklers all around her  02:49
16.  demon disc  03:49
14.  power balladeer  05:54
     Worst

Tracks listed in track order
01.  retro intro  00:13
This track is a reissue of the earliest known Power Salad recording in existence, which I believe was an Edison cylinder from 1920.  :-)

02.  your city here  03:55
I've heard of song parodies, but shirt parodies?  I mention shirt because of all the cities where I've seen the same shirt design with only the name of the city changed.  Let's here it for (you city here)!!  This song has a bunch of stuff, electric guitar, brasslike sound, saxophone, drums, and that big gnarly singing voice.  Good tune, funny idea.
Chris Mezzolesta writes:  The "brasslike" sounds on Your City Here are.......................BRASS!  Real horns, which I had not yet figured out how to properly record with my setup, resulting in the kinda overdriven sound you hear.

03.  with sparklers all around her  02:49
I don't understand this song so I better not comment.  Jewish humor?
Chris Mezzolesta writes:  "With Sparklers All Around Her" is most definitely in the style of a Hora, played ad infinitum by myself and the others in the tuxedo trenches every Saturday and Sunday night at country clubs and hotel ballrooms....The top half of each verse is by Roric LaLeech, inspired by a cousin's (yes, Jewish) wedding he had been to at a party center we all know and hate; the lyrics sat around for a few years before I added the bottom half of each verse, which in just about every case, was a real occurrence that happened to our band at various weddings; the Cafe Continentals are real, the "I want to hear this song and I want to hear it NOW!" was real, the X-rated Hokey Pokey by Aunt Bubbie was real, it's a tough world in the music biz!

04.  the saga of the all american mall family  03:30
It's like the opposite of the Pretenders song "My City Was Gone".  It's a song that defends the malls against farms and ruralization.  (I had to invent that word because I haven't heard it before.)

05.  italian food  02:02
Pretty much a list of Italian foods.  "Man, I love Italian food."

06.  oh oh olean  04:10
A jazz waltz about Olestra.  Gee, it sure is pretty.  It must be fattening to listen to.  It's not?  Cool.  Beware: Some studies say that prolonged use of jazz waltzes can be hazardous to your health.  More research is needed.

07.  points (they might be sportscenter)  03:24
Did you ever notice how you have to keep score in any relations because you never know when your going to need some ammo for the next argument?  That's what this song is about.  Good music.  Good harmony.   Lyrics declined in goodness toward the end.  Background announcer guy, who did sports scores and news, missed an opportunity to do score keeping on a husband and wife relationship or similar.

08.  lady of the house  02:38
A song about being a househusband.  I liked another song on the subject better, called "Househusband Macho" by Mike Nobel.

09.  katie's dream  05:39
This song might work on a kids show.  Then again, it's too weird and might frighten them all and make them have cheese and macaroni nightmares.  The music occasionally treads on familiar tunes but not long enough for the legal departments to get uptight.

10.  the chemical engineering song  02:47
It's just a so-so song about how Chris doesn't understand what his wife does for a living.  Hmm... should I mention the song was good enough to get pirated?  Well it was.

11.  you're a kinkajou  04:28
A kinkajou is kind of like a mini hefalump or a snuffulluffuggus.  This is a childrens song.  The song credits list Bob McAllister (host of Wonderama kid show) and Joe Raposo (Sesame Street music composer).  That's a bit much with the treble control in that there song.

12.  killer résumé  03:37
A gnarly song about the resume that grew and grew and became a monster out of control, crushing everything in its way.  It's funny because it's deadly.  I rank this track first for chuckle power, but other songs here are musically better.

13.  finish this song  03:13
You might want to turn down the treble for this song.  A song about how the song completion is overdue.  I thought of the Beach Boys vocals whilst listening to this song.

14.  power balladeer  05:54
Oh, I hate those boring ballads.  This is a boring ballad that pokes fun at ballads, but not much fun.

15.  kiwana wanna-be  04:02
The Kiwana Club... what the heck was that club all about?  This song is pretty hyper and kinda funny.

16.  demon disc  03:49
They don't burn?  Let me try that.  Well they certainly splinter into deadly shrapnel.  Chris, I need another CD to finish the critique.  And call 911.  ...OK, where was I?  This song is a not very subtle poke at the anti rock & roll religious right wing.

17.  panic broadcast  01:56
Weirdness.  This track would fit on a Firesign Theatre album.

18.  theme from ralph-man  03:21
An instrumental.  I'll let Chris explain this one.
Chris Mezzolesta writes:  ""Theme from Ralph-Man" is an instrumental inspired by the Southern California cruisin' anecdotes of Norm Katuna over in rec.music.rock-pop-r+b.1960s, with a liberal dash of the Saturn Five from "That Thing You Do!" (one of the greatest movies ever made and certainly the greatest soundtrack). The title, along with the title of the album, is inspired by Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures, the fabulous Ralph Bakshi cartoon from the late 80s (when this project was conceived). He was always working himself into episodes, and in one episode, superhero Bat Bat is trying to figure out who is committing dairy crimes - "Ten Face? No Face? Ralph-Man?" or in another episode a rock concert is sold out, consolation prize, tickets to Ralphie and the Mollusks, still available! I just wanted to play some music, even if it isn't demented."

19. co-dependency  2:02
Song length is 2:00 but the track is 9:35 so you know what that means... hidden track!  Come back in a few minutes and I'll let you know what happened...
...It was some evil backwards message.  "s'DC dalaS rewoP erom yuB" ???  It makes no sense.  Yeah, Eric, but what about "co-dependency"?  Well I didn't think that song was very funny, but it did get on the Dr. Demento Basement Tapes CD #6.  It wasn't on the Funny Five though.
Chris Mezzolesta writes:  "Well I guess it's not funny in the sense that National Lampoon's "That's Not Funny, That's Sick" is not funny.....but is....It's supposed to be hard-edged Tom Lehrer-inspired stuff, which of course is an acquired taste...I try not to write necessarily for guffaws, more toward the thinking or subtle humor, which of course is not outright Deeemented, but gets the humor across in a gentler way...so in short, yes, "Co-dependency" isn't funny, but makes one just uncomfortable enough :-) "

"Thanks for the writeup, post it up and fire away! Zinnnnnnggggggggggg......"

Total playing time: 71:11
Playing time without silence:  63:36